by Emer Hayes

When we were younger we shared a bedroom.

We would stare all night at the plastic stars

that Dad stuck to our roof

with white sticky tape.

And we’d tell each other bedtime stories,

while basking in the yellow-green glow

Do you remember that time?

When summer hit we’d stay up till late

on the roof of our playhouse, or on the trampoline,

the one I bought with my communion money.

It now lies rusting with the docs,

somewhere at the back of the garden.

We’d leap like astronauts and pluck the stars.

Then we began to fight

and our world began to fall.

I’d keep you up at night watching TV or reading till dawn,

and you woke me each morning to prepare for choir or lessons

for instruments you no longer play

You were twelve, I think

when you decided enough was enough,

it was time to move out.

You only went to the spare room next door,

but it felt like a city away.

The stars eventually lost their glow.

I needed you to explore the constellations,

The ones only we knew.

And sneaking downstairs at night

was no longer exciting

without a fellow explorer

to make the dangerous journey

past mom and dads room.

We still talked at times;

at dinner and at church,

back when we were forced to go.

But you were there for me

When it was my turn to start secondary school.

You helped with fake tan and made me up

for those teenage discos,

a rite of passage.

And I still can’t help but think;

What if I hadn’t you to pick out my dress or do my hair?

I’m still clueless at fitting in.